I need a sign from God. Ever since I was a kid I thought I wanted to become an architect one day. When I finally applied to College, I didn't get in the University of Texas' Architecture School, only to the Liberal Arts School. I was sad, as I didn't want to go anywhere else (I also couldn't afford to) and wanted to stay close to my family since we had just moved to Austin. I decided to pursue a degree in Urban Studies and do Architecture as a Master. A lot of people said that was a good idea.
After graduating, I was able to get a job at a small Architecture firm (where I work now). I was thrilled. I wanted to learn stuff, interrelate with architects, and perhaps even design something small with the help of my very basic AutoCAD and Sketchup knowledge. Months passed, and for some reason, all my excitement began to fade away. I am not sure why... maybe it was because I discovered I was in love with photography, maybe it was because I read that architecture is one of the most overrated careers, maybe because I thought about my future life and decided I didn't want to live for my career-- I want to be able to have time for me, for my family, etc-- or maybe it was because one of the architects in the office told me he would choose another major if he could go back in time. I am not blaming him... each person goes through different experiences in life. Anyway, the point is that I woke up one day and said "I don't want to be an architect anymore, I want to be a photographer-- a popular one."
Well today, I talked to one of the new architects in my office. He used to be a T.A for one of the classes I enjoyed the most in college. He talked to me about the positive things about the career. He said there are firms that still do hand drawings and models, that in South America architecture has a high demand, that he absolutely loved architecture school. Unconsciously, he awoke some curiosity in my brain again.
I don't know what to do. I don't know when to do it. I will probably go to Peru for a few months in the middle of this year and I wish I could go knowing what I want to do with my life, so that I can prepare myself further while I am there, whether in photography, or architecture.
A few months ago I discovered a Masters Degree that sounded very exciting to me. "Photography & Urban Cultures." They offer it in London only, though. Maybe I should just go to London? Why is it so hard to decide what I want to do? Why am I so indecisive? Some say I could do Architecture because photography can be a hobby. That's the thing... I wish it wasn't just a hobby. If I do architecture, then I won't be able to study photography and pursue it 100%.
I seriously need one of those rays of light they show in cartoons, when people suddenly know what to do.
All I want in life is:
- To have a job that I LOVE
- To be somewhat 'popular' with what I do, at least in the town I live in
- To have extra time for me, for my future husband, for my family, always
- To earn a good enough income
- To never feel I wasted any talents
- To enjoy life, places, people, nature, etc. You only live once...
Any suggestions? I know... crazy huh.